What were you doing 5 years ago?
What do you hope to be doing 5 years from now?
2 big questions right?
I spent a lot of January contemplating where I am, where I have been and where I would like to be and I realised a few things…
Firstly, I realised that I have come a lot further than I give myself credit for!
My life has changed dramatically over the last five years! The biggest change is that I became a mother of 2 when my daughter was born in May 2014, making my then toddler-son a big brother! What a whirlwind that has been!! Motherhood is the best and yet hardest thing I have ever experienced! I have extreme highs and extreme lows in my role as “mummy” – extremes that I had never really experienced before…
I have come through a complete change of career, spurred on by a redundancy from my office job of 10 years and all the emotional fallout that came with that (!!!)
I have qualified as a Pilates instructor and Meditation Teacher and am now teaching classes regularly in the community and have a regular base of individual clients as well.
And I have gone back to school to study Hypnotherapy & Counselling to add to my skillset and deepen my knowledge & expertise.
I mention these things simply to let you know what a period of transition the last 5 years have been for me. Every area of my life has changed – Family, career, studies…. Yet, before I really took the time to contemplate these things, I had an overriding feeling that I hadn’t really accomplished anything of any real significance.
Why are we so often reluctant to recognise what we have accomplished and instead focus on all the things that didn’t work out like we wanted them to?
I had so many plans that I thought about starting, but never managed to get off the starting block…. so many projects that I started but didn’t finish… And I seem to focus on these unfinished things!
I would NEVER remind my friends or children of all the things they DIDN’T accomplish!! I would never be so discouraging and negative when talking to others so why do I talk this way to myself??
This was certainly food for thought….
Another thing I realised is that I don’t actually have a clear vision of what I want to be doing 5 years from now and I’m ok with that! I know that I like what I am doing and what I am working towards right now and I have a rough idea of what I’d like to be doing in the future, but it certainly isn’t a crystal clear vision or goal…. not yet.
I have a greater understanding and acceptance of the fact that things will constantly change and I am actually really pleased to know this!
My family will change as my children grow older. In 5 years time I will have an 11 year old son and a 9 year old daughter and will be dealing with all the fun and challenges that 11yr olds and 9yr olds bring! I accept that I cannot control these changes, but that I can accept, welcome and ENJOY them!
I also recognise that while I may have clarity on the path I want to follow right now, I will probably need to change things along the way. I am quite relaxed about not knowing exactly where I will be in 5 years and I will welcome each progression and development as it comes. I recognise that change is necessary and inevitable and that without change we will never move forwards.
I also recognise that in the case of my career I do have control over these changes. I have experienced this first hand over the last 5 years!
While redundancy may not seem like something we can control, we can control how we deal with it and what we do with the situation we have been given.
I am carrying this belief with me as I progress through my self-employed life and as I develop and grow my business. And the beauty of self-employment is that I am 100% in control of what I do! If something is working well, I can develop it and do more of it! I can adapt what I am doing to fit in with my changing family.
Similarly, if something isn’t working so well or doesn’t quite fit, I can change it.
And whether you are self-employed, employed, on a career break or a stay-at-home-parent, you too have the control! Nobody else is living your life, only YOU! You are the Pilot and YOU alone have the control over what direction you take and what path you follow.
So yes, I have a rough idea of where I want to be 5 years from now. But I am willing to adapt and change this over the course of time if I believe it to be the right thing to do.
They say a goal without a plan is just a wish and this is so true! We need a plan in order to make things happen. However, we must be adaptable. Life will throw things our way that we didn’t expect….good things and bad things! We can choose to panic and feel angry that “life” is working against us and thwarting our plans, or we can choose to accept what we have and use it to our advantage. We can choose to change our plan, change our path…
For one thing is surely true – if you change nothing, nothing will change.
It was a real eye-opener for me taking the time to contemplate where I have come from and where I am going… I highly recommend you do the same and ask yourself these same questions. Who knows what new thoughts it might spark in your mind?!
As always, feel free to share if you experience any lightbulb moments! I love to hear from you 🙂